I didn’t realize I had been holding so many emotions inside until I no longer had to keep these emotions in check.
When the decision was announced I was elated and when my daughter called and through her tears said: “Sometimes they get it right.” I couldn’t even speak to her – by then I was sobbing. I hung up the phone and continued to sob.
I cried for the 50 years that I felt I needed to hide who I was, and lie and cheat and deceive and live a life that most certainly was not mine. I continued to cry for the 50 years spent trying to be the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect church girl, the perfect small-town girl, the perfect friend, the perfect everything. The fact that I was living a lie made being the perfect anything close to impossible.