Gays Want to Force Christians to Have Sex With Angels
Uncle Pat is on another anti-gay bender. “What the gays are saying is, ‘we’re going to drive you out of town, either you conform to us or you must leave.’ That’s the message that’s being put out, it’s the same message that there was in Sodom and Gomorrah: You’re either going to have sex with angels or have open sex with anybody or else you leave, or you go out of business. That’s America, you don’t want that, do you?” Seriously? Sex with angels? Whatever Uncle Par is smoking, I want a hit.
We’re Praying Against Your Sexual Bondage
Cincinnati-based Citizens for Community Values plans a four day prayer rally to get God to intervene at the Sixth Circuit: “…pray for clarity of thought and persuasive speech for the attorneys defending marriage in order that the arguments against marriage will be refuted, confused thinking will be exposed, and that all the judges’ doubts regarding marriage will be removed. Pray for those engaged in all manner of sexual sin that God will deliver them from their sexual bondage and restore purity.” Hey, since logic hasn’t worked, they gotta try something. Can’t remember the last time, though, that I had a good “sexual bondage” session. Sigh. I’m getting old.
I Stand By My Statement That Gays Are Possessed by Putrid Demons
Pastor Bert Farias won’t back down on his stinky gays theory: “I understand that the greatest point of offense from my article happened when I exposed homosexuality as a putrid-smelling demon that many have embraced. Apparently that was the arrow that afflicted the comfort of the hornet’s nest, creating cyberspace madness.” Madness? More like cyberspace laughing our asses off.
I Want to Be the Biggest Homophobe!
Dot429 Magazine has a profile of Fox News’ Todd Starnes, who seems to be auditioning for the role. Starnes has said, among other things: “As I wrote in my new book, God Less America, this administration believes gay rights trump everyone else’s rights—including religious rights… And woe be to any Christian American who refuses to comply.” Yes, because we might, what, ignore them? Laugh at them for their ignorance?
You Can’t Teach Kids About Homophones at This School!
An outraged boss at a US language school fired an employee for writing about “homophones”, afraid it would lead to homosexuality at the school: “I’m letting you go because I can’t trust you. This blog about homophones was the last straw. Now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality.” As the fired teacher posted: “In English a homophone is a word that has several different meanings and spellings, but always sounds the same.” But hey, itdoes have the word “homo” in it, right? So it must be gay. ::: faceplants :::