I’m pretty sure that AT LEAST half of my clients, both gay and not, met their future spouses online. Probably more than half, but not all of them are willing to admit it. I certainly don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of – in fact, I find it fascinating. More than one couple has been outed during the toast (or shall I say roast) by the BM or MoH at the reception. Let’s face it – zoosk.com, match.com, chemistry.com, jewishsingles.com, etc. have become the new dating scene. To hell with hours of sipping watered down lousy drinks in uncomfortable shoes while potential DTFs appraise you like beef at auction! Why would you put yourself through that when you can wear your favorite sweat pants with your Snuggy, and drink Mexican hot chocolate while you troll the World Wide Web for your future mate? All you need is a good picture from the last time you bothered to get dressed up and put on makeup or shave (or both), right? It’s virtual dating in a virtual world and as long as you’re not dumb enough to accidentally turn on the camera on your laptop, you are all set for a hot night on the Internet.
While I’m willing to support online dating as a great way to meet people (told my mom to try it and she finally listened), I think you have to be selective about which online dating sights you choose to troll. You might not want to go through the extensive vetting of some services, but others are little more than sex-for-hire advertisements. It’s not always about money. There were several gentlemen on one of the sites I researched who were willing to clean my house, do my laundry, cook my dinner and generally be my bitch in exchange for a firm spanking. Hmmm. Alt.com is definitely the place to go for ANYTHING that doesn’t fit in another category.
In my last life, I was a VP of public affairs for a company that owned, among other entities, a certain online dating company named Lavalife. Lavalife.com has 15 million users and the tagline “dating, relationships, and intimate encounters.” Every time I had to call their Canadian headquarters I’d get the heebie jeebies because the ultra sultry voice on the phone tree sounded so naughty when it said “Welcome to Lavalife!” I couldn’t help but picture a silk pajama-clad receptionist serving cosmos to clients waiting in the lobby. It was completely above board and yet after every conference call, I felt a little bit icky. Until I realized that there are entire online dating sites dedicated to helping connect people who are looking for daddy/daughter arrangements, BDSM partnerships, and a whole host of other things that might not generally be found in the mainstream. Turns out that Lavalife is very, very tame. Vanilla even.
The most horrible advertising I’ve seen for any online dating website yet was a television commercial last week for www.ArrangementFinders.com (the inspiration for this blog, truth be told). Thanks to Arrangement Finders, now I know why we no longer see prostitutes walking down 14th Street in my native Washington, DC. Hookers don’t have to streetwalk anymore because of online dating web sites like this one that advertise “intimacy with a twi$t” (oh yes, you did read that with a dollar sign in lieu of an “s” because that’s how they spell it on their advertisements) for “people seeking mutually beneficial arrangements.” Really? REALLY? Heebie jeebies at a factor of 10 with this one. In a world where danger lurks around every corner anyway, would any sane person look for a relationship on a website that advertises financial incentives? I didn’t go too far into the site to explore because I could only imagine the pop ups and viruses that lurked within. That made me laugh, realizing I was as afraid of a computer virus as a real STD, and chances are I could get both on the same website if I wasn’t careful.
How is that not illegal? Maybe it’s like sales tax on the Internet – a giant grey area that nobody knows what to do with. Maybe it’s such a humungous epidemic of a problem that nobody has the first clue how to tackle it, just like child porn on the Internet. Or maybe it’s that law enforcement would rather ignore it because at least it’s channeled and there’s nobody naked shaking ass at cars and clogging up traffic in the nation’s capitol anymore. Just sayin’.
Curious about all of this, and knowing how many of my clients meet each other via laptop, I did some research and found a couple of very useful sites (for singles… not for me. I’m married). If you’re dating online or thinking about dating online, check out www.top10gaydatingsites.com or www.100bestdatingsites.com and see what each different dating site is about before you sign up and give them your information. You don’t have to pay for a lot of the sites, but there are also a lot of pay-to-play dating sites that claim to vet their membership, even running criminal background checks in some cases. Make sure you know what you’re doing before you hand them all your personal info for their background check. Research them extensively and listen to your gut. When in doubt, skip it.
There’s one online dating site I can positively vouch for – my mom met my stepdad on eHarmony (www.eharmony.com), and then I planned their wedding here on Vieques last June. He’s a pretty amazing guy and she lucked out. So did he. But that’s proof that it’s never too late to start searching for the love of your life. Just be selective about where you look for them.
Until next time, happy wedding planning from Weddings in Vieques (www.weddingsinvieques.com) and Weddings in Culebra (www.weddingsinculebra.com)!
Sandy
