Oh dear, what shall we wear?

Deciding what to wear for your Hawaii Civil Union or Commitment Ceremony may bring up lots of questions. Getting married on the Mainland, sure, there are the traditional choices: dignified tuxedos and glorious white wedding dresses.

But once you’ve decided to get married in Hawaii the choice of attire is blown wide open. Shall we be formal or informal? Traditional or boldly eclectic? Brightly colored or subdued?

Naturally, the single factor in making the decision is the couple’s own personality and style. It’s all a matter of taste. Fortunately, Hawaii is the most relaxed environment, perhaps, on the planet, and the soft tropical breezes, sea air and sandy beaches invite wedding visitors to dress as they wish.

We certainly see a wide variety of choices: couples barefoot in the sand or wearing shiny patents or spiked heels, and the array of garments above the feet is quite as varied.

Fortunately, too, wedding celebrations can be spread over several days so more than one outfit can be chosen and worn. An outfit for the wedding itself, another for the reception, and then, wonder of wonders, a pre-wedding photo shoot–we call it an Engagement Shoot although it usually takes place a day or two before the wedding–or a Honeymoon Memories Shoot–again only a day or two after the wedding–gives a great opportunity to explore another venue on the island with a photographer in tow. For example, if a couple gets married on the beach, a waterfall shoot in new outfits can add great shots to your memories and to your wedding album.

Hawaii also provides perfect settings for the new trend of “Trash the Dress”, too. Go ahead and enjoy jumping into the sea, frolicking under a waterfall or splashing in a puddle of red mud along a dirt path winding through a coffee plantation–any and all in your wedding attire with the photographer snapping the shutter.

For men, there’s nothing quite so elegant as an exquisite tuxedo complete with studs, cumberbun and shiny black shoes. The downside of a beach wedding in a tux is obvious–the sun and warmth of the day plus the challenge of walking in sifting sand in formal shoes. Plus it is common for a photographer to encourage a couple to remove their shoes and roll up their pants for a stroll along the shoreline and perhaps even into the water for some playful romantic shots.

In contrast to the formal attire of a tux, gay couples often choose Hawaiian shirts and khakis or shorts. Bright flowered Hawaiian shirts are readily available in most markets on the Mainland these days.

Or a quick stop into a Hilo Hattie’s store in the islands will make the choice of colorful shirts easy. Alternatively, a couple may choose the soft and subtle silk shirts made by Tommy Bahama which can be found in department stores and island boutiques. The natural beauty of Hawaii complements the subtle colors–green, blue, cream and peach–and textures of palm trees, tropical flowers and Hawaiian scenes. They can be worn over soft linen pants for a perfect ensemble.

Of course, a linen suit, ethnic garb or anything else that suits a couple’s fancy may be worn. Openhearted Hawaii welcomes everyone celebrating as they are inspired.

For women, many brides choose traditional wedding dresses with all their variations from slim sleek silks to extravagant billowing whites.

The choice of the ‘perfect dress’ may be the most enjoyable and, oh my, time consuming part of planning for your Hawaii Civil Union or Commitment Ceremony. Certainly there are formal wedding dresses available in the islands, but because of the often extended preparation time with fittings and alterations, it is perhaps best to bring dresses along from the Mainland. A possible challenge in wearing a formal dress is the pathways to the wedding site–beach, waterfall or garden.

Many lesbian couples choose for one bride to wear a traditional long wedding dress and the other to wear a tuxedo, linen suit or other suitably formal attire to complement the wedding dress.

Brides may also choose to wear brightly colored Hawaiian dresses or shirts over pants or shorts. Sarongs or other more ethnic styles add variety to choices.

Many brides wear sleeveless or strapless summer dresses, an easy choice for a beach or waterfall wedding. One word of caution, however: Most folks arrive in Hawaii with little or no tan and after a couple of days in the sun may find it challenging to wear sleeveless or strapless attire with sunburn and tan lines from their bathing suits.

Finally, may I say that choosing to come to peaceful Hawaii to celebrate your Civil Union or Commitment Ceremony gives the whole question of what to wear a gentle glow. Since in Hawaii “anything goes”, how wonderful to enjoy the choice of attire with no ‘stress’ at all. One gay couple got married in tuxedos, then changed into flowing silk jackets and soft silk trousers for their romantic photo shoot by the sea.

A lesbian couple chose matching white wedding dresses from J. C. Penney, lovely and affordable at the same time. Another gay couple arrived for their wedding in t-shirts and well-worn shorts. And a couple of brides came straight from a Gay Pride cruise around the islands in short shorts and bandero tops. So, have fun with this part of the great, grand, wonderful process of preparing to celebrate your sacred union in Hawaii.

Virginia St. Claire, lesbian owner of In Heaven Commitments, has a wonderful team of wedding professionals to help couples create and celebrate beautiful weddings and sacred unions on the islands of Kauai and Oahu. In Heaven Commitments offers full wedding services from the simplest of barefoot-in-the-sand beach weddings to elegant formal weddings and receptions. They provide everything a couple may need–ceremony, photography, videography, music, flowers, cake and champagne/cider, simple or full-service catering, plus all the extras like doves, a sand unity ceremony, hula, conch and chant, etc. Every wedding is celebrated in peace and with joy and love.

In honor of the new Civil Unions law which will take effect January 1st 2012, In Heaven Commitments, which provides Civil Union and Commitment Celebrations on the islands of Kauai and Oahu, is offering a 10% discount for all Kauai services during the months of January and February, 2012 to our LGBT family. Visit our website at inheavencommitments.com; or contact Stacy Mallory at 808 639 3202.