Bisexuals Need to Come Out

Written by scott on August 10th, 2014

Bisexual…But part of it really does point to a long-standing challenge when it comes to bisexual visibility: Your sexuality may exist inside your head, but most people are going to judge your orientation by who you’re partnered with. And so monogamous married people tend to “read” as gay or straight, but some may actually be bisexual. “When you’re bisexual or pansexual, but you’re in a long-term relationship, your bi/pansexuality can become invisible,” Greta Christina, the author of Coming Out Atheist and expert on all things coming out sexuality-related or not, explained to me. “People often assume that you’re gay or straight, based on who you’re involved with now–and it kind of eradicates your history and your identity.”

This is a problem because, as the gay rights movement has shown, visibility helps–a lot. There are many myths that proliferate about bisexuals, including the myth that they are oversexed and can’t be monogamous, a myth that King was pushing with this line of questioning whether he intended to or not. These myths exist in no small part because there aren’t a lot of visible bisexuals to act as a counterpoint. Many of the uglier myths about gay people have faded in recent years as more gay people have come out and forced people who believed in ugly myths to rethink their opinions. Having just one out gay friend or family member, for instance, doubles the chance a person supports the right to same-sex marriage.

Christina, who writes about these issues frequently at her website, says that the importance of visibility is a major concern. “I sometimes find myself working my bisexuality into my conversations and my writing, even in awkward and irrelevant ways, just to make it visible. ‘As a bisexual, I prefer roasted vegetables to steamed ones.’ That’s silly–but it’s better than entire swaths of my self and my life being eradicated.”

Authored By Amanda Marcotte – See the Full Story at the Daily Beast

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