Before and After Gay

Written by scott on August 23rd, 2014

Emerson-CollinsComing out is a right of passage for gay men and women — an experience as nearly universal as it is unique for each person. The process invariably began with the moment where the journey from self-discovery to self-awareness finally coalesces in self-acceptance and the readiness to speak the words. It began the first time we spoke the phrase “I’m gay” aloud to another human being.

Despite the shared experience, the nature of the journey is specific to each of us. Coming out stories run the gamut from those who kicked the closet door off its hinges in six-inch platform stilettos to those who cracked the door open just far enough to let in those nearest and dearest. A nearly infinite number of factors impact how we do it, when we do it, the words we choose, the people we share with and the choices we make once we were received.

That moment draws a line through our lives when our personal timeline suddenly has “Before Gay” and “After Gay” — our own internal birth which allows us to divide the important events, decisions and people on the calendar of our life by whether they happened B.G. or A.G. For the most fortunate among us, it’s a line in the sand. But when the fury of the coming out storm dies down, love and acceptance smooth the sand again and the line is gone. Before Gay and After Gay are one journey with events and people running continuously from one into the other.

Authored By Emerson Collins – See the Full Story at The Dallas Voice

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1 Comments so far ↓

  1. Mr Eric G. Osterberg says:

    This is a terrific explanation of what and how we gays had to figure out who we are.
    I came out in the U.S. Navy back in 1960 in Washington, D.C. after another gay man
    asked me if I wanted to go to a gay bar. I was excited to find out there was such a
    place as I am originally from Idaho. After that I was transferred to Boston where I
    met my lifetime partner, was honorably discharged from the Navy, went into
    computer software, got married to my partner, and retired.
    It took me a year when I was 20 to sort out the items I learned so I could determine
    which ones applied to just me and which ones applied to everyone. Once I straightened
    that out, I got on with my life. I finally told my family i.e. Mother and two sisters that
    I was gay when I was 50. My father had previously passed away and I am relieved I did not have
    to tell him. Now we are enjoying the American Dream In Massachusetts.

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