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Single Dad Asks for Advice on Helping Son Come Out

Tuesday, November 18th, 2014

nowpostThis story will warm your heart – a father accidentally discovered his son was gay, and then asked the internet how to help him come out.

Pink News reports:

Reddit user HeMeYou was left “overwhelmed” by advice from online strangers after accidentally discovering his son might be gay. Buzzfeed reports the 38-year-old father posed the question to Reddit after finding Google searches on his son’s iPad suggesting he wanted to come out. He said: “I found out my 13 y/o son is gay… He hasn’t told me, but I want to support him. What can I do?”

Ultimately, the father opened up the conversation with his son:

At the dinner table the same day, while we were eating we had a couple minutes of silence, not much was heard apart from the cutlery and my son finally said “I actually wanted to tell you something in the car, but I was afraid you’d get in an accident..”

I looked up from my plate and looked at him straight in the eyes… I could see he was thinking about something and all I could think of was “OMG this is it…”

He said “Dad..” with a couple seconds of silence “..I’m gay”.

I looked at him and couldn’t help myself from smiling, and I told him “____, you know I love you so much… right?” and I got up and gave him a huge hug. He even started to cry on my shoulder and because of that I couldn’t help myself but shed a couple tears.

What an awesome Dad.

Concluding his post, he said: “After dinner and after he finished his homework we both lay in our pyjamas on the sofa, while I was watching the Cooking Channel and he was playing on his iPad. “I had my arm around him and he was leaning his head on my chest, and all I could think of was that I’m the happiest father on earth right now.”

What Makes a Good Father?

Thursday, June 12th, 2014

Same-Sex Marriage and ChildrenThe question of children’s welfare has been at the center of the legal and political debates over same-sex marriage for the last couple of decades.

According to the 2010 Census – the first to provide same-sex couples that live together the option to report themselves as married partners – 48 percent of LGBT women and 20 percent of gay men under 50 are raising a child under age 18.

In his new book Same-Sex Marriage and Children: A Tale of History, Social Science, and Law (Oxford University Press, 2014), Carlos A. Ball, a professor at the Rutgers School of Law-Newark, takes a comprehensive look at the ways in which the child welfare arguments have been used to oppose same-sex marriage.

Rutgers Today spoke with Ball about the evolving view of families headed by same-sex couples on the occasion of the first Father’s Day since New Jersey recognized gay marriage.

Rutgers Today: Are arguments about the right to parent common throughout history?

Ball: The effort to prohibit same-sex couples from marrying is just the latest example of a recurring phenomenon in American history, as represented by earlier restrictions on marriage by individuals of different races and by people who are mentally disabled. In my research, I found that opponents of these marriages, like those who seek to prevent the legal recognition of same-sex marriage today, relied on the argument that the marriages were detrimental to children’s well-being.

Authored By Patti Verbanas – See the Full Story at SDGLN

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USA, Colorado: Father of Transgender Teen to Push for Marriage Equality

Monday, August 12th, 2013

Jeremy MathisThe father of a 6 year old transgender child in Colorado will push for a marriage equality initiative in the state. LGBTQ Nation reports:

The father of a 6-year-old Colorado transgender student who earlier this year won a landmark civil rights case regarding public accommodations, plans to submit a draft of a petition on Aug. 19 to collect signatures asking voters in 2014 to approve same-sex marriage in Colorado. Jeremy Mathis, 31, and his ballot question to amend the state’s constitution to allow same-sex marriage in Colorado, cleared a title board hearing Aug. 7, he said… The petition must be approved by the secretary of state, mostly a matter of legal formality. Mathis must collect nearly 90,000 valid signatures of Colorado voters in order to put the question on the ballot. He’s confident if he and a grassroots coalition of volunteers can accomplish the Herculean task without a financer, voters will approve marriage equality.

There’s no fiercer advocate for LGBT rights than the supportive mother or father of an LGBT child.

Find more articles and gay wedding resources in Colorado.

A Father’s Letter to His Young Son About Marriage Equality

Sunday, July 7th, 2013

Brian GreskoWow, how things have changed in the last ten-twenty years on marriage equality. The Hollywood Gossip points us to this letter from a father to his four year old son about marriage equality and the changes afoot in the world:

Dear Felix,

Your mom and I put off taking you for a blood test because, honestly, we figured you didn’t really need it, that the doctor’s concerns about the level of lead in your body were the routine kind of doctor’s orders we could ignore.

Doc has since corrected us of that misconception, stressing the importance of the blood test. (And we wonder where your stubbornness comes from.) Ok, point taken. So, at least a year late, this morning we walked in to get your blood work done just as the waiting room television cut to the steps of the Supreme Court Building, where the announcement came that the Court had ruled 5-4 to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), declaring the law baring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages unconstitutional.

You’re four-years-old as I write this. You seem to react to adults who make good eye contact, speak with animation, get down to your level to talk to you, and ask you questions that you understand and then listen to your answers. You click with men, you click with women, and as far as I can remember you only asked once about why one of your best friends has two mommies. When I told you that couples come in all combinations – woman and woman, man and woman, man and man – you nodded and that was that. No big deal.

So sitting with you in the waiting room, I had one of those moments of double-ness that parents sometimes have, as I thought about the news and what it meant, watched the happy reactions from the crowd of marriage equality supporters, and wondered what celebration might be going on in other parts of New York City, all while talking with you about the upcoming blood test and reading you a story. I didn’t explain what was happening on the television, and you didn’t ask. I figured the time will come soon enough – probably too soon for my liking – when you’ll be aware of the politics around sex and gender and sexual orientation.

Or maybe you won’t. Hopefully, these issues will be moot in seven years time, or ten years, whenever you become aware of your sexual self (let’s go with ten years, eh?) and begin to find other people compelling in ways that will, at first, probably seem strange or mysterious. (For example, I didn’t notice girls had legs till eighth grade. Before then, I’m not sure how they got around, their mobility was no concern of mine. Suddenly, when springtime came and the skirts came out, their long, skinny, graceful limbs became vitally important. And yet I had no idea why. I just found them… fascinating. I knew they were key characters, I just hadn’t figured out what the story was about yet.) Maybe you’ll read about today’s decision in a history book and it’ll sound like a long time ago, the Dark Ages, when certain couples could marry and certain couples could not. You’ll feel comfortable pursuing whatever kind of partnership interests you, no matter the person’s gender, or color, or race, or class, or belief system, or whatever, and live in a country in which you can join in the legal state of matrimony with that lucky person.

I hope that by then American society will have a better understanding of what I saw all so plainly today. That if you prick our skin, the same red blood flows through all of our veins. These differences in appearance and behavior and belief in many ways are trivial, surface. How you treat other people, your stewardship of our planet and society and yourself as a functioning, contributing human on Earth, matters so much more than who you’d like to date, have sex with, or marry. As Kurt Vonnegut so succinctly put it, “You’ve got to be kind.”

Other than that? Have fun, kid. And while this marriage thing sure ain’t easy – in fact, I don’t wish it on anyone who doesn’t feel ready, 100% sure they want to make their commitment into a socially recognized, legal bond – I’m happy knowing that if, one day, you think you’re ready to take the plunge, you can do it with whomever the hell you want. And I’ll be right there (unless you decide to elope like your mom and me decided, which is totally cool too), cheering you on and wishing you well, no matter whose hand you’re holding when you say “I do.”

Love ya kid,

Dad.

Hong Kong, China: Lesbian Whose Father Offered Her Money to Marry a Man Speaks Up

Friday, April 5th, 2013

Hong KongYou may remember the strange story of the rich man in Hong Kong who offered his lesbian daughter millios of she would leave her partner and marry a man. Now Gay Star News has an update:

Speaking to Hong Kong Tatler, Chao described the multitude of odd things that happened to her since the story was first reported in September 2012. She described how George Clooney’s former body double offered to marry her, and how she was inundated with love letters from war veterans and even gay men. One man wrote every day for five months describing his erotic fantasies about her, and a Mainland Chinese woman offered her own husband.

The happy ending? “Chao continues to live with and love her partner of eight years Sean Eav.”

Read the whole story at the link above – it’s fascinating.

Father and Daughter for Marriage Equality

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

A gay father and his daughter talk about family and marriage equality at OakPark.com:

My partner, Lee Neubecker, and I adopted our two children, Michael, 9, and Braiden, 10, in 2009. Since they have two dads, both kids have been following the issue of marriage equality.

Braiden literally screamed out “Yes!” when she heard President Obama mention in his inaugural address that gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry. It brought a tear to my eye and at that moment I thought I should help her get her message out to those who can help our family gain equality in Illinois.

As our House Representatives reflect on their current positions concerning marriage equality, I hope they keep in mind that there are thousands of children involved in this issue whose families are not treated equally under the law. These children don’t understand why the government refuses to allow their parents to marry. They don’t understand what a “civil union” is. They do understand fairness.

Read the whole thing at the link above.

Find more articles and gay wedding resources in Illinois.

My Father’s Journey

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

Frank BruniFrom Out NY Times Columnist Frank Bruni:

IN the years before Mom died, I had my first long-term relationship, and I could tell that seeing me coupled, just like my brothers and my sister were, gave him a new, less abstract way to understand me. I just wanted what they wanted. Someone special.

He welcomed the man I was with effusively. Took the two of us out to eat.

Then Mom was gone, and all the parenting fell to Dad. He tapped reserves I’d never imagined in him. When I broke up with the man he’d been so effusive toward, he must have told me six times how sorry he was about that. It was a message — that he was rooting for my happiness, no matter how that happiness came to me.

What he struggled most with, he admitted to me over our lunch, was his worry about what others would think of me, of him, of our family. His Italian-immigrant parents had been fanatics about the face a person presented to the world — the “bella figura,” as Italians say — and when I would write candidly about my life, as I did on occasion, he’d flinch a bit. Still does.

But he has decided that such writing is necessary. “There’s prejudice out there, and it’s good to fight that,” he said, adding that visibility and openness are obviously integral to that battle. “I’m convinced that people who don’t accept gays just don’t really know any of them.”

Authored By Frank Bruni – See the Full Story at The New York Times

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China: Hong Kong Man Offers $65 Million to Man Who Can Break Up Lesbian Daughter’s Marriage

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

Hong Kong Man Offers $65 Million to Man Who Can Break Up Lesbian Daughter's MarriageA “$65 million to marry daughter bounty” is up for grabs. In this bit of strange news, Hong Kong real estate mogul Cecil Chao wants a man to marry his lesbian daughter who wed her same sex partner of seven years. Is Gigi Chao the focus of her father’s conservative views on gay marriage?

Wednesday, BBC News said the property Tycoon in Hong Kong put up the hefty inducement after reports surfaced that his 33-year-old-daughter wed her lesbian lover in France. It’s widely known that the country shuns gay marriage despite it being declared no longer a crime years ago.

Chao said $65 million is available to any man who marries his lesbian daughter. The catch is; he must win her heart. While it sounds like an attempt to “arrange” Gigi’s marriage, the Hong Kong man says that his daughter is not bound by the bounty; she is free to make her own decision.

Authored By Bruce Baker – See the Full Story at Examiner.com

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France: Marriage Equality Bill Set for October 31st

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

French Marriage Equality Bill Set for October 31stA draft version of France’s same-sex marriage bill will be presented to President Francois Hollande on October 31st. Newspapers are screaming that the bill bans the words “mother and father.”

The draft law states that “marriage is a union of two people, of different or the same gender.” It says all references to “mothers and fathers” in the civil code – which enshrines French law – will be swapped for simply “parents”.

See the Full Story at Joe.My.God

Find more articles and gay wedding resources in France.

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New York, USA: Father’s Will Says Gay Man Must Marry Woman to Inherit

Monday, August 20th, 2012

Father's Will Says Gay Man Must Marry Woman to Inherit in ManhattanA gay Manhattan man is fighting his father’s will, which specifies that he must marry a woman for his children to get his money.

Frank Mandelbaum, who died in 2007, instructed in his will that his son Robert Mandelbaum must be married to the mother of his children within six months of their birth, otherwise the children get none of his money.

Robert, a Manhattan Criminal Court Judge, argues that he married his husband Jonathan O’Donnell shortly after their 16-month-old son Cooper’s birth via a surrogate, entitling the child to a portion of his father’s estate. He stated that O’Donnell is the only “mother” Cooper knows, the New York Post reported.

See the Full Story at On Top Magazine

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