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Featured Gay Friendly Wedding Vendor: Rev. Will Mercer, New York City, New York

Monday, February 23rd, 2015

Reverend Will Mercer, New York City

Periodically we’ll feature one of our vendors here to let our readers know about some great people who can help you plan the perfect wedding.

Gay Friendly New York City Wedding Officiant – Your Wedding Ceremony is the heart of your Wedding and your Officiant is the heart of your Ceremony.

See Reverend Will Mercer’s ‘s Expanded Listing on Purple Unions Here

Gay Friendly Wedding Vendors in New York City

Delaware, USA: Unions Join Push for Marriage Equality

Thursday, February 21st, 2013

DelawareAnother big group joins the push for gay marriage in Delaware – the state’s unions, which together represent more than 40,000 workers. News Works reports:

The Delaware State AFL-CIO, The Delaware Building and Construction Trades Council and the Delaware Public Employees Council 81-AFSCME have all voted to support a marriage equality bill when it’s introduced in the General Assembly. AFSCME Executive Director Michael Begatto called on state lawmakers to pass a bill this year. “We represent all working families, not just some families. We believe all Delawareans should be treated fairly, including to have the freedom to marry the person they love.” Equality Delaware’s Lisa Goodman says a bill approving marriage licenses for gay and lesbian couples is expected to be introduced in the General Assembly in its current session. “This type of support makes it clearer every day that this is the year for marriage equality in Delaware.”

Just last month, Governor Markell indicated support for the bill in his Inaugural Speech.

Should You Invite Your Parents to Your Wedding even if They Don’t Support Gay Marriage?

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

Hi again!

A new client recently asked me whether she should invite her mother, who does not support their union, to her wedding festivities.  If she were asking me the question about anybody other than immediate family, my clear and concise answer would be “do not invite anyone who doesn’t support your decision to get married.”  However, you only get one set of parents in this lifetime, and you (hopefully) will only have one wedding.  If your parents don’t choose to attend your gay wedding, that’s on them.  But if you take the high road and sincerely invite them, they can never say you excluded them from the biggest day of your life.  It also puts the forgiveness ball in your court.  You can choose to forgive (or not) them for not attending down the road if you want to, but if you didn’t even ask your dad to walk you down the aisle, you can never get that back again and fix it.

Some would say that’s rich coming from me, since I didn’t invite some of my siblings to my wedding eight years ago, and have absolutely no regrets about excluding them.  That’s different.  If you and your parents or siblings weren’t on speaking terms pre-engagement, then all bets are off.  But if everything was kosher prior to your big wedding announcement, you may not have to throw the baby out with the bathwater right away.

I advise all of my clients to pick their battles wisely during the wedding planning process.  For something as serious as whether to invite the people who put you on this earth to share your wedding day, don’t let a momentary lapse of judgment (theirs, of course) dictate the future relationship you’ll have with them for the rest of your life. It’s no skin off your back to send the invitation.  If they come, you include them and they become a part of your happy memories.  You can enlist the help of a sibling or a sympathetic friend of theirs to help them acclimate to the situation so you don’t have to be the one doing the babysitting.  And for real, they might need some hand holding.  Certainly you can make a bigger statement by NOT inviting them to prove a point if your parent has been vocally opposed to the marriage, but in your haste to win that battle, you night well lose the war.

Remember, not having your parents with your on your wedding day can be far more devastating than having to deal with the drama that may unfold when you make the big engagement announcement.  Again, allow for the fact your parents are from another generation and try to be as understanding as you possibly can be, given that they obviously have serious concerns or objections to your lifestyle if things have come to this point.  When everything is said and done, you are getting married whether they like it or not.  You do not need their permission, but it would be nice to have their blessing.

Your life isn’t over when you get married, in fact, it’s just beginning.  And maintaining a positive relationship with your family becomes even more important if you choose to have or adopt children. A child growing up in a “non-traditional” home may have some of his or her own challenges to face, depending on how enlightened the population is where you live.  Grandparents (and aunts and uncles) can create a solid and secure foundation for children and should not be easily discounted.  Certainly, you don’t want to have your mother babysit if she refers to your wife as the Whore of Babylon, but if you get mad when they don’t greet your wedding announcement with a brass band and never even give her the opportunity to change her mind and support you in person on your wedding day, you may be burning a bridge you could have rebuilt much more painlessly.

Instead of getting angry, take the time to sit down and educate them.  If they don’t (outwardly) have a problem with your gay lifestyle, perhaps you can disabuse them of the notion that gay marriage is so far-fetched.  Maybe they’ve never really given the time to think about what you have to put up with on a daily basis, and the fact that you have to jump through about a billion more hoops than a straight couple to get your lives set up.  Do they realize how this will change the practical aspects of life for you?  Would these practical aspects change their opinion of your choice to marry?  There are a lot of websites with GOOD information for parents who are struggling with their children’s choices.  Find the good sites and send them the links directly, don’t make your 70 year old mother Google “gay marriage.” God only knows what she’ll come up with before she finds the legitimate info was looking for.

The decisions about whom to include for your wedding are challenging, but not insurmountable.  It can be an excellent way to say to your parents “nothing else matters that has happened – I just want you there.”  Likewise, failing to invite them sends another, very permanent message as well.  Remember, they say it’s all in the delivery – but if you never send the invitation, it never gets delivered and you’ll never know for certain exactly what they might have done with it.  Think long and hard about it because once your choice is made – you can’t undo it.

Until next time, happy wedding planning from Weddings in Vieques and Weddings in Culebra!


Conservative Jewish Movement Approves Same Sex Ceremonies

Saturday, June 2nd, 2012

Conservative Jewish Movement Approves Same Sex CeremoniesThe Conservative branch of American Judaism has formally approved same-sex marriage ceremonies, nearly six years after lifting a ban on ordaining gays and lesbians.

The Committee on Jewish Law and Standards issued the ruling Thursday on a 13-0 vote with one abstention, said Rabbi Elliot Dorff, the committee chairman. The panel of scholars approved two model wedding ceremonies and guidelines for a same-sex divorce. Rabbis can adapt the marriage ceremonies for the couples.

“We acknowledge that these partnerships are distinct from those discussed in the Talmud as ‘according to the law of Moses and Israel,’ but we celebrate them with the same sense of holiness and joy as that expressed in heterosexual marriages,” the legal opinion states.

Full Story from The Washington Post

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Australia: Unions to Launch Marriage Equality Campaign

Sunday, September 11th, 2011

Australia Gay MarriageA state-wide ‘Unions for Marriage Equality’ campaign will be launched at Darlinghurst’s Oxford Hotel tomorrow night, with unions joining forces to support the LGBT community.

Eleven unions in total have joined the campaign as they seek to put a message to the likes of Shop, Distributive and Allied Employees Association (SDA) chief Joe de Bruyn and Prime Minister Julia Gillard that a large part of the workforce and Labor supporters also support same-sex marriage rights.

De Bruyn, as head of the country’s largest union, continues to suggest that the organisation’s membership – many of whom are young – back his stance of opposing marriage equality despite never polling them.

Full Story from GNN

Click here for gay wedding resources in Australia.

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Liechtenstein to Hold Vote on Overturning Gay Partnership Law

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

The same-sex registered-partnership law that passed Liechtenstein’s Parliament in March will be subjected to a voter referendum in June.

Anti-gay forces turned in enough signatures on April 21 to mandate a vote, LGBT activists reported.

The tiny nation, located between Switzerland and Austria, has about 18,500 voters.

Full Story from Bay Windows

Click here for gay marriage resources.

To subscribe to this blog, use the rss feed on the right, or use the form at right to join our email list. You can also email us at info@purpleunions.com. Or find us on Facebook – just search for Gay Marriage Watch (you’ll see our b/w wedding pic overlooking the Ferry Building and Bay Bridge in SF). We’re also tweeting daily at http://www.twitter.com/gaymarriagewatc.