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Why Is It So Hard to Say, “This Is My Wife”?

Sunday, February 22nd, 2015

Gay RightsMy wife and I recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary, but we’ve been together for nearly a decade. By now, I should be comfortable saying I’m married to a woman. Instead, when people ask if we’re sisters or friends, my wife and I glance anxiously at each other, urging, No, you say it. Everyone has an opinion about being gay, and we often have to come out to people without knowing how we’ll be received. A sort of fatigue sets in.

Although not every day, inquiries into our personal lives happen often. Women notice my diamond ring and compliment my husband’s taste. The doctor asks if my husband is tall, like me. I meet friends and their coworkers for drinks and the innocuous chatter follows: What do you do? Where do you live? I love your necklace! It would be weird to withhold the fact that I’m a writer, that I live in Manhattan, or that I’m wearing my wife’s necklace.

Many times, the highpitched “Oh!” response is blithe — this is New York City, after all. But I brace myself for occasional awkwardness: a glance at my wife (does she look like a lesbian?), then back to me. A silent moment, a raised eyebrow. A hotel clerk asking, “You’re sure you want the king bed and not two queens?” We’re sure.

By Laura Leigh Ashby – Full Story at Cosmopolitan

Ohio Hospital Denies Woman Her Deceased Wife’s Medical Records

Monday, August 4th, 2014

Marcia GallasA hospital in Ohio is hiding behind “state and federal privacy laws” and will not release a deceased woman’s medical records to her wife.

Towleroad.com reports:

Marcia Gallas, a woman from Blue Ash, Ohio, has been denied access to her recently deceased spouse’s medical records. While Gallas and her attorney have a federal injunction that is based on a similar case from Cincinnati, Bethesda North Hospital says they cannot release the information due to “state and federal privacy laws.” To Gallas, it seems the hospital’s rationale for this denial is that they are waiting for Ohio’s marriage equality fight to make its way through the courts. Said Gallas: I’m grieving…It’s going to take a long time to get over Barbara and I really don’t understand why they won’t recognize… what am I to think except that they have a problem with same sex marriage? Gallas is trying to obtain the records of former spouse Barbara Graham because Graham participated in an 18-year study that requires the records.

File this one under “why we need marriage equality now”.

Find more articles and gay wedding resources in Ohio.

Virginia, USA: Naval Base Won’t Recognize Retiring Lesbian’s Wife at Ceremony

Monday, March 25th, 2013

Jenkins-Smith FamilyYet another wrinkle form DOMA in the lives of our military men and women. A naval base in Virginia ia refusing to recognize the wife or a retiring lesbian sailor. Queerty reports:

T.J. Jenkins finally married her partner, Ship’s Serviceman Melissa Smith, two months ago in Maryland, where same-sex marriage is legal. But because of DOMA, she can’t be considered a spouse, according to Smith’s commanding officer. That means that while other married servicemembers get to honor their partners ‘ sacrifices as part of a longstanding Naval tradition, Jenkins efforts won’t be acknowledged. She calls the snub “a slap in the face” and admits Smith has thought about not attending her retirement at all.

To treat one of our military heroes like this, after they have served their country honorably for almost two decades. is just flat-out wrong.

It’s stories like this that have been winning over the hearts and minds of our allies, as they see the simple unfairness with which so many of us are treated on a regular basis.

Just want to say to the loving couple, we recognize you, and we recognize your love for one another.

AP Does About-Face on Terms for Married Gas and Lesbians

Friday, February 22nd, 2013

AP Associated Press LogoJust days after a new AP style guide recommended calling legally married gay and lesbian spouses “partners” instead of “husband” and “wife”, the AP has relented, Gay Star News reports:

The AP’s stylebook now states that ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ is ‘acceptable in any recognized legal marriage’ regardless of sexual orientation. They add that ‘spouse’ or ‘partner’ may be used if requested. That’s different from the policy on an internal memo that was leaked last week. The memo stated that ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ was not an automatic for gay couples: ‘Generally AP uses couples or partners to describe people in civil unions or same-sex marriages.’

Chalk one up for the good guys.

USA AP Wants reporters to Call Gay/Lesbian Spouses “Partners”, Not Husband or Wife

Sunday, February 17th, 2013

AP Associated Press LogoThe Associated Press,one of the largest news aggregators in the world, recently issued a new set of guidelines on journalistic style and standards, in which they said that reporters should not generally use the words “husband” and “wife” when referring to gay and lesbian spouses, Pink News reports. The only exception:

The updated AP memo clarifies that “husband” or “wife” can be used, but only if the married couple involved regularly used those terms, or if the terms are used in quotes attributed to the couple. The style guide’s suggestion that same-sex spouses should only be described as “husband” or “wife” under those two circumstances, drew criticism from LGBT groups, journalists, and from within the AP, as it was seen as creating a double standard. David Cray, a New York based journalist, said he would rebel against the rules: “The AP style guidance will have no effect on how I write about legally married same-sex couples.

As we’ve learned painfully throughout our history, words matter.

Washington, USA: Anti Gay AG’s Wife Tweets Marriage Equality Support

Thursday, December 6th, 2012

Anti Gay Washington AG's Wife Tweets Marriage Equality SupportWashington State Attorney General Rob McKenna said he opposed marriage equality during his failed gubernatorial run, but the same can’t be said for his wife, Marilyn McKenna.

Last night, as Washington officials began distributing the state’s first marriage licenses for same-sex couples, the wouldbe first lady tweeted, “Marriage is a blessing, not a political issue. We do well to remember that everyone benefits when couples commit.”

She then wrote to Seattle PI: “I believe that being pro-gay marriage is completely consistent with being a Republican too. It’s a matter of personal choice that the government has no right to interfere in.”

Authored By Andrew Belonsky – See the Full Story at Towleroad.com

Find more articles and gay wedding resources in Washington State.

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England, UK: Anti Gay MP’s Wife Disagrees With Him on Marriage Equality

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

England, UK: Anti Gay MP's Wife Disagrees With Him on Marriage EqualityConservative MP Henry Smith has admitted to his local newspaper that his own wife doesn’t agree with him when it comes to opposing equal marriage.

The MP for Crawley in West Sussex told Crawley News: “I think redefining the term marriage to include civil partnerships would be very offensive to people of faith.

“I have had more than 300 Christians and Muslims write to me from across Crawley with their concerns, with only two or three letters in favour.

Authored By Scott Roberts – See the Full Story at Pink News

Find more articles and gay wedding resources in the United Kingdom.

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UK: More Zaniness as MP Says Marriage Equality Will Mean Re-Writing Shakespeare

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

Rewriting Shakespeare?A twice-divorced Kent MP has questioned whether allowing gay couples to marry will result in Shakespeare being rewritten to redact gender-specific words like ‘husband’ and ‘wife’.

Sir Roger Gale, who has been North Thanet’s MP for nearly thirty years, writes in an opinion piece today that the “almost Stalinist” move to ensure forms accurately reflect spouse’s genders in the future would “rewrite history and tradition”.

Writing in the Thanet Extra, which can be read online, he says: “If we are to re-construct official and business documentation and to replace “Husband and Wife” with “spouses” and “partners” where will this stop? Will Shakespeare and Milton and The Holy Bible be re-written also? Will only “correctly” expurgated literature be allowed to be used in the classroom?”

Full Story from Pink News

Click here for gay wedding resources in the United Kingdom.

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Cantor’s Wife Supports Marriage Equality

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s wife of 22 years, Diana Fine Cantor, supports gay marriage.

Mrs. Cantor spoke out on the issue during an interview broadcast Sunday on CBS’ 60 Minutes.

Correspondent Lesley Stahl noted that Mrs. Cantor and her mother are liberal Democrats who converted to the Republican party but whose beliefs do not always line up with those of the Virginia representative.

Full Story from On Top Magazine

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Lesbian’s Parents Sue to Prevent Daughter’s Wife From Receiving Benefits

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

Represented by the anti-gay Thomas More Society, the parents of a recently deceased Philadelphia lesbian are suing their late daughter’s wife to prevent her from receiving her partner’s profit-sharing benefits. Lawyers for the parents argue that the couple’s Canadian marriage cannot be recognized under DOMA. Via Christian Newswire:

Thomas More Society attorneys argue that the parents are entitled to the funds because their daughter executed a beneficiary designation form in their favor before her death, and because Farley and Tobits’ “marriage” was invalid under Federal and Pennsylvania law. Under the terms of the profit-sharing plan, the parents would be next in line when there is no spouse, even without a designated beneficiary form from the deceased. Therefore, they are legally entitled to the funds as Farley’s surviving parents on two accounts.

Full Story from Joe.My.God

Click here for gay wedding resources.

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